Freakshow Read online

  Our raw, naked need was enough. Words were not necessary, with their misplaced meanings or stuttered, awkward replies. Our bodies were expressing what we’d been feeling for the last couple of weeks.

  He gripped his fist tighter in my hair, and the act of being held in place by him elicited a thrill that traveled up my spine. He slid his hand down my leg, found the hem of my dress and shoved it up over my thighs. His huge, rough hand found my panties and pushed them aside, fumbling for my clit. I was grateful in that moment that I’d removed it, my last reminder of Jason. I didn’t want it to pollute this moment with Cairo by reminding me of my past mistakes.

  “I don’t know,” I said, wanting to warn him about my lack of orgasm, my inability to feel pleasure. I didn’t want to let him down, but I didn’t want to fake it for him. Everything so far had been so authentic; it felt disingenuous to keep it from him. “I have this problem...”

  He moved back and looked at me, not moving his thumb from my clit, circling it slowly as he waited for me to finish.

  “It’s really difficult...” I started to say, but he hit something right at the perfect angle and I gasped. “I don’t think I can...” I tried again but he hit that spot once more and I jumped, gasped and grabbed his forearm.

  He didn’t break my gaze; he set me onto the table behind me and pushed my thighs wider. “You were saying?” he asked and pressed harder, circled faster and stirred something deep inside of me, something previously unknown. I was hypnotized, by his deep, soulful eyes and his persistent touch and I felt something break loose.

  I couldn’t put into words the things I had wanted to say because they no longer mattered. He had me in the palm of his hand, and I wanted to see how far he could lead me. I closed my eyes as he found that spot again and again, with each pass across my clit. “Keep them open,” he commanded and I obeyed.

  His eyes and his thumb were my entire world now. I was no longer the girl who couldn’t come, I was hovering somewhere in between who I had been and who I was about to be. I could feel the urge building, persistent and all consuming. I didn’t close my eyes again, but when his thumb made the last pass, that final contact that it took, I gasped and cried out, “I’m...I’m...I think I’m...”

  And I did. I came for the first time in my life. I felt so much pleasure inside of me that it almost hurt, for half a moment I imagined I knew what everyone else in the world could feel.

  “Come for me,” he said in a deep, guttural voice that connected with my primal self. “Come on my hand,” he said and I quivered against him, feeling it all build, ready to crash at any moment.

  And then it was gone, it was released and I shuddered against his thumb and hung onto his arms for dear life and couldn’t close my eyes or look away.

  As I sobbed my confused orgasm, his eyes became my entire world. He lusted after me, he wanted me and he was taking me.

  I couldn’t have said no even if I’d wanted to.

  I started to breathe again and a short time after, he stopped circling my clit. The entire thing had taken mere moments, but to me it felt like a lifetime. A long bridge filling in the gap between the time I hadn’t been able to come, and the time I’d finally done it. He’d connected the before and the after and changed my world beyond measure.

  He’d done it. He’d taken me there, where I hadn’t even been able to take myself. All this time and I’d just assumed...

  Fuck, if I had known it was like that, I would have played with myself continuously over the last few years. I would have become a professional at getting off, developed elite status self-pleasuring skills and never left the house.

  “That’s my good girl,” he said and kissed me again as he drew back his hand. My panties slid over me, protecting my sensitive clit but adding to the sensations going on in my most intimate flesh.

  “I think I came,” I said, my eyes still wide with amazement. “You made me come.”

  “You did,” he replied and kissed me again, then said against my lips, “And I did. But I want more.”

  His kisses trailed down my body, he pulled my breast out of the dress and took my hardened, pierced nipple into his mouth. He worked my barbell in his teeth and tongued it as he nibbled.

  I felt it. Felt it. An electric jolt moving from my nipple to my brain, somehow the connection was rewired with his touch. I hadn’t felt it when they’d slid the metal through my nipple the first time, why did I feel it now, with Cai’s mouth on me?

  “God, what is happening to me,” I whispered and touched his hair, allowed myself to feel him and touch him. I wiggled the hair tie holding his bun back and pulled his thick, black mane loose. It fell around his fierce face as he worked my breast and I gasped again.

  He looked up at me from his dark eyes, his beard jutting out in a defiant stance, and I did wonder what he looked like without it. Would his face be as strong and read as so masculine? Would my body react on such a visceral level? I suspected it would, there was powerful magic going on between the two of us, and it would not be denied.

  He moved lower and parted my thighs with his insistent face. He pulled my panties back and plunged his tongue onto my clit, sucking and nibbling my swollen flesh. I cried out immediately, his beard tickled and rubbed my inner leg as he worked himself against me.

  “Cai,” I gasped and felt something even more intense coming down the line for me. Something burst forth in the back of my brain and I said his name again, “Cairo.”

  He looked up at me, his beautiful face framed by my thighs, his nose peeking over my mound and time seemed to speed up. I could hear the hungry sounds of his mouth on my cunt, and my own frantic, panting breath. I threw my head back, cupped his head in my hands and shuddered the second orgasm of my life.

  This one was more intense than the first. I almost shouted in triumph as my entire body tensed in shuddering release. His guttural groans as he lapped at me sent me over some edge I never knew existed, some darker, hotter spot in my head where my entire body was alight and my nerves were finally deeply rooted into my body.

  I cried his name one last time and fell back onto the table, not concerned for my comfort or dignity, splaying out licentiously.

  He came up from between my legs with a grin on his face, still not comprehending the significance of his actions.

  He had brought me to orgasm, not the pleasant equivalent of scratching a really bad itch of my previous orgasms...but the sweaty, screaming, upheaval of earth and sky and tipping my world upside down orgasm that I’d always heard about.

  “That was...” I trailed off, again unsure how to put something so insanely intense into mere words.

  “You’re beautiful when you come,” he said and nuzzled the smooth place where my thigh met my torso. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

  “No,” I said, propping herself up on my elbows, “I can’t say that anyone has ever mentioned it.”

  “I find that hard to believe,” he said and stood, holding out his hand. I took it and he pulled me to standing. The dress pooled around my legs like a curtain call, the end of a stage production, and my panties felt twisted.

  I was suddenly aware of how quiet it was, how the blood rushing in my ears and my shallow, rapid breathing were the only things I could hear. “It’s true, but then again, I don’t think anyone has ever gotten me to...”

  “To what?” he asked, but didn’t let me finish. He kissed me, his mouth hot and hungry and my scent clinging to him now. I kissed back, my own needs rising again, now that I knew what it was all about. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around him, clinging to him in my heat.

  He walked slowly towards his bedroom, kissing me and half stumbling as we laughed and kissed until we hit the door. He fumbled and reached behind him to open it when there was a loud pounding on the side of the RV.

  “What was that?” I asked and pulled away, looking behind me, half afraid I’d find Orion there.

  “Hang on,” he said and wiped his face with the back of his hand. I could still
see my juices glistening on his beard. It thrilled me and repulsed me, as though Orion would be able to sniff me out. I was still worried about his reaction, and had sobered up enough to understand the costs involved if he found out about us.

  Cairo straightened up his shirt and smoothed the front of his pants where his cock was visibly bulging. I quietly cursed whoever had interrupted us, after feeling that thick bulge several times now, I was dying to get it inside of me.

  I followed behind him and peered around as he stepped down and swung the door open.

  It was Rose.

  “Is Liv here?” She asked. I felt disheveled, my hair was messy and my make up was smudged.

  “I am,” I replied and stepped from behind Cai. “What’s wrong?” I asked, my friend’s terrified state worrying me.

  “It’s Cara, she’s gone,” Rose said and her voice hitched as though she were about to cry. “This is all I found,” she continued and held up a clutch purse. I immediately identified it as Cara’s, it was blue satin to match the pretty blue dress she’d worn.

  I normally wouldn’t be too concerned, people tended to hook up during events such as this, and they’d been with two men when I’d left the party.

  The thing that alarmed me, and most likely contributed to the blind panic on Rose’s face, was the splash of colour across the purse.

  My hand trembled as I took it from Rose’s outstretched grip and saw the splash for what it was.

  An angry slash of red, blood spattered across the blue fabric of the clutch.

  It definitely was blood.

  And Cara was missing.

  Chapter Ten

  Cairo sprung into action and grabbed his jacket. He turned to me and said, “Do you need to change? We have to go look for her.”

  I looked down at my flimsy clothing and said, “Yeah, can we head back to our trailer? Rose, did you check her bedroom?”

  “I did when I went back to change, but maybe she’s there already.”

  “Maybe,” I said, “but that wouldn’t explain the blood.”

  “I get bloody noses all the time,” Rose said. “It’s probably just a bleeding nose, right? I feel stupid for coming to get you.”

  We left the RV and made our way back to our shared travel trailer. “Don’t feel stupid for worrying about your friend,” Cai said, “the safety of our employees is paramount to us at Cirque.”

  Rose glanced at him as if she’d forgotten who he was. Ultimately he was their boss and it really was a little odd to have him join them.

  “I’m glad you found me,” I said. “When’s the last time you saw her?”

  “A couple minutes after you left, we met a couple new guys from the clown group. They’re pretty cool, tats and piercings, that new extreme performance thing that’s so popular now. Anyhow, we did a few shots with them and we had to go to the bathroom. We headed out to the toilets behind the performers tent. Cara said she’d wait for me outside, but when I was finished, she was gone.”

  “Where did you find her handbag?” Cairo asked.

  “I didn’t notice it at first,” Rose said and tears began to leak from her eyes, “I walked back and found it under the stairs at the bathroom. I didn’t even see the blood until I got back to the party. The guys and I looked everywhere for her, but I haven’t been able to find anything, so I came to get you. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize,” I said and Cairo grabbed my hand as we walked. “I don’t know her as well as you do, this isn’t something she would normally do?”

  “God no,” Rose said, “I’m the flaky one, but any time either one of us hooked up with a guy, we’d tell the other. Girl code, so the other one doesn’t worry.”

  “Okay,” I said and appreciated Cai’s steady touch. I noticed Rose looking down from time to time, glancing at our fingers intertwined. “Let me get some pants on and we’ll start a search for her.”

  “Sounds good,” Rose said, “I’ll wait here.” She sat at the little kitchen table where the three of us had laughed and chatted just hours before. I prayed Cara had just taken off with somebody and was holed up with a hottie, shagging and drinking and forgetting about the time. I prayed that my friend was safe.

  I checked Cara’s room first of all. I thought for a moment that Cara was curled up on her bed, sleeping, but realized it was a pile of clothing. Cara wasn’t known for being the tidiest, and the false hope brought the sting of tears to my eyes.

  I took off the missing girl’s dress and slipped into loose pants and a thick sweater. I wore fuzzy socks and my Uggs, just for comfort. I wasn’t out to impress anyone with my fashion sense tonight, not when my friend was missing.

  I found Cairo and Rose making awkward small talk in the kitchen. “Okay, let’s go,” I said and the two jumped up, relieved to be put out of their shared misery.

  “Where to first?” Rose asked.

  “Back to the party,” Cairo said and we headed that way.

  The crowd was winding down by the time we got there. It was after one in the morning and most people had to be up early for rehearsals and last minute run throughs.

  “Have you seen Cara?” Rose asked people here and there. The answer was unanimously the same. No.

  I saw Erica, from the Vancouver ticket booth. “Have you seen my roommate, Cara?” I asked her.

  “I can’t say that I have,” Erica said, “I thought she was with you guys all night.”

  “She never made it back to the trailer,” I said.

  “Let’s go tell my father,” Cairo said reluctantly when their search came up empty handed. We followed him to Orion’s RV and my stomach clenched at the sight of it. The last thing I wanted was to encounter Orion tonight, with my scent all over Cairo’s body, and my eyes full of lust for the son I was warned against pursuing.

  Cai knocked and tried the door. It was locked and the RV appeared deserted.

  “They might be sleeping,” he said and stood back. He picked up a small pebble and tossed it at a nearby window. He called out a couple times and a light came on inside.

  My stomach clenched and I prepared myself for Orion to figure out everything. He had that strange sixth sense and appeared to look into my very soul when I was around him.

  The door swung open and a girl appeared, she looked similar to Cairo but was very young. “What the fuck, dude?” she said and blinked her eyes a few times.

  “Where’s dad?” Cai asked.

  “I dunno,” the girl replied, “He had a meeting or something. What time is it?”

  “It’s after one,” Cairo said, “We need to get security. Something’s happened. A girl’s gone missing.”

  “Not again. I’ll make the call and get people looking,” the girl said, ducked back into the RV and slammed the door.

  “What does she mean again?” I asked. “Has this happened before?”

  “We have people leave the Cirque all the time,” he said, “but in Montreal and Vancouver, we had girls go missing after a party. Your friend makes number three.”

  “You’ve already had girls disappear? Why did you still throw a party?” I asked.

  “Honestly? I didn’t think much of it until I saw the purse,” he told me. “Like I said, people come and go all the time around here. It’s the nature of the business.”

  “It wouldn’t be that suspicious if we hadn’t found it,” Rose said.

  “Don’t defend him,” I said, “this should have never been allowed to happen. My friend is missing because of you.”

  “That’s unfair,” Rose said, “we all expect these parties. I don’t think Cairo would have been able to shut it down even if he’d tried.”

  “I’m sorry Liv,” he said, “if I had even suspected a thing, I never would have allowed it. I care about our employees. They’re our friends and even feel like family after a while. We’re a big band of misfits, we stick together.”

  I saw sincerity on his face; I recognized how distraught he was because I felt it too. I took a deep breath and said, “I’m so
rry, I’m just so worried about her right now.”

  “I’ll do anything I can to find her,” Cairo said, “I promise you.”

  “Can we go look for her now?” Rose said, “We need to do something. I can’t just stand around waiting for the security guys to find her.”

  “Neither can I,” I agreed and the three of us went on another fruitless round of the Cirque grounds looking for a girl who seemed to have disappeared into thin air.

  Chapter Eleven

  We ended up searching until the light came up and everyone who’d joined in was out of places to look. It had been quite an effort, over a hundred performers and staff had joined in but it had proven futile.

  I was exhausted by the time we reached our trailer, but Rose was even worse. She had cried almost continuously, her guilt overshadowing everything else. She limped up the stairs into our space, and I turned back to Cairo. “I’m going to get some sleep, I have to meet your father at ten.”

  “I’m not going to leave you like this,” he said and followed me inside.

  “I don’t think I can–”

  “I don’t mean sex,” he said in a gruff tone. “I mean I don’t want to leave you alone. I need to know you’re safe right now.”

  “Okay,” I said and watched him kick off his shoes and shrug out of his jacket. I stood on my tippy toes to kiss him when he was done.

  How quickly our evening had changed. We’d gone from passion to fear, the best night of my life to the worst. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, but I could tell neither one of us seemed up to the task of picking up where we had left off.

  I took his hand and led him to my little room, we stripped and climbed into bed, our bodies folded perfectly together, and good to his word, we just slept.

  A short time before I was supposed to wake, I moved against something in my bed and it startled me. I quickly realized it was Cairo, he was holding me in his arms and breathing deeply against the back of my neck. I relaxed and closed my eyes, took hold of his muscular forearm and fell back asleep like that. Safe in his embrace.